Ron, where are you?

A question I heard the Holy Spirit ask me about three times last night. I wasn't sure why I kept hearing that and as always my mind started to rule it out. "Oh, you're talking to yourself.... You know where you are... Why am I thinking about this?" all the things my mind said each time I heard, Ron, where are you. It wasn't until I got home I realized it was the Holy Spirit. I got in my apartment, went up stairs and could not enter my room. I was so convicted. I could not enter my room. My room is the place where I meet God every night between 10:30p and 12:00am (depending on when I get home) Its gotten to the point of even if I'm dead tired,  cant go to sleep without talking to God. So at this point I'm at the door pleading and asking for forgiveness. I get in and I pray then go to sleep.

It wasn't until tonight that I really understood the fact that God meets me in my room between those times EVERY night. Its like He expects me to be there to commune with Him. The funny thing is, He doesn't require much time, just 30 minutes with my phone on silent so that there are no interruptions. As I was driving home tonight I started to  think about how gracious God is and how much He really accepts from us, and all that He has done just to have a relationship with man. His creation. Its amazing how we expect God to jump through hoops just to have a relationship with us and that feeling is not reciprocated. It broke my heart. Not sin. I am always apologetic for sin because I know its wrong, but not showing God how grateful I am for all He has been for me. Once I realized, it broke my heart.

He only asked me for thirty (30) minutes at the end of my day. So that means that He kept me all day long, and allowed me to be successful in my daily activities and did not require me to get up early as most people would have you to think is correct. He let me choose the time and He meets me, and sadly there have been times where I complained silently about that because He wont let me sleep without meeting Him. "What am I that He is mindful of me?..." this scripture has never been more personal than today.

So tonight during my meeting with Him I wept as He came in. I know when He shows up because my prayer gets stronger, my utterance changes, I sing in a way only He understands and is pleasing to Him. But I wept, and I expressed my extreme gratitude to Him for all that He has been to me.

We are not perfect yet, but the worst thing we can do is neglect spending time with our Father who is in heaven and come to visit us and speaks to us and keeps us in all our ways. To me that's worst than sin, at least sin has a motive, not spending time with God that's just crazy. I have found that there is truly nothing like the presence of the Lord and when you know He's there and listening. Sometimes we just need God to Listen to the things we think that no body understands.

Man, He is so great! Who is like unto our God? NO ONE!!!!

anyway, I'm going to sleep before I end up writing a book.

Night!

This Storm (literal not figurative)

Man oh man, this storm has got me... "It got me, I aint have no shoes or nothing Jesus" lol but no seriously, this storm has got me.. Its got me feeling some kind of way. Its making me want to.... write.

My Lord: Marvelous

Oh how beautiful are the works of your hands oh lord.
How marvelous are your ways.
How excellent is your splendor Lord.
Oh king, and ancient of days.
For even in the midst of the storm, my Lord you give me peace.
despite the thunder from west, and lightening from the east.
How magnificent are you words dear king none shall return back void
how beautiful does your ways yet seem so ill make a joyful noise.
 Hallelujah hallelujah is the highest praise
the storm will past, the rain will cease, the winds will stop now bless your Holy name
no explanation needed father how marvelous are your ways
creation longs to give you praise oh ancient of days.

To My Wife,

 My dear, my dear how I long to hold you close
 to rest your head upon my chest and gently kiss you on the nose
my love my dear my heart is near though we are far away
but soon and near our love appear and here it is to stay
but to hold you in my arms my love i long to do and sing
to finally make love to you and it be pleasing to our King
but until then my sweet my sweet your virtue I will uphold
and pray that when temptation comes I have the strength to just say no
You are my wife, my queen, my love, my spouse and love to be
as much as you are part of me you're much more to our king
but one day, oh one day we will be pleasing and all will sing
the heavens, the earth, our hearts our king, because we will be guilt free
however my love for now I will just hold you in my dreams
just make sure you're there to say "I do" in June two thousand thirteen.


 To Judah Immanuel,

 Hello young man, prophet of God your life has a great call
to preach the word unto the world and introduce Christ to them all
I have not been the best stewards over what I have right now
but I promise son, my prince, my seed for you ill lay my life down
I promise that I wont curse you or bring destruction to your offspring,
so pray for your father while your in Christ arms I don't mishandle the offering
You have not yet been conceived or even thought about until now
you will be a king oh prophet of God ill teach you to get your crown
according to our Lord in heaven, we are of royal priest
so remember to stay humble my son, and thats to say the least
Make sure that you respect your mother and treat her like a queen
which im sure will be easy for you because you'll act out what you've seen
I love you Judah Immanuel (Praise God with Us)
make a joyful noise when you get here son until then my prince be blessed

I miss you!

I miss you sweetheart, but I assure you that I have learned so much this week. I learned about Christ, what He did and how it relates to me. I also learned a lot about who I am in Christ and that's what I needed. So thank God for this time. I am patiently and waiting for Sunday. I love you and I am excited to spend the rest of my life with you.

The devil Tried to Kill Me, BUT GOD!!!

The ride home from work today was a rather different one indeed. I took the route that I normally take and thought everything was all good. I get to a busy intersection so i decrease in speed. After all, there were two huge trucks that no one could see anything around. so cautiously after the cars had passed I proceed while blowing my horn just in case and out of nowhere BAM!!! She hit my car. Gwenn was her name. She was driving a small white civic so she too could not see past the mountains of trucks. So BAM!! She hit my car. Never being the driver in an accident before I was a little shook up. The impact was great enough to deploy my airbags and turn my car off. It broke my coolant pump and destroyed her right headlight. Some dents and dings on the cars but we both came out well. Rewinding a little. On my lunch break I went to sit in my car and pray, just as I have been doing all week, and it has really been working on me. I am glad that when I almost ignored the Holy Spirit when He told me to go pray. I could not resist. So I went to my car and prayed. good thing I did or God knows how I would have reacted after she hit me. while a little shaken up, I got out of the car because it was hard for me to breathe with the smoke from the airbags. I walk around to check on the driver and I get to the window, and its a terrified and shaken up Arcadia University student on her way to class. I ask "are you ok?" terrified she looks at me and says "oh my god i am so sorry, was that my fault?" I smiled and said yes but its ok, lets get you out of the car on to the side of the road so we can make sure you're ok. So shaken up, and still startled she could not even put her thoughts together. So I directed her to put her car in park, turn off the ignition, put on her hazards, and step out of the car. It took her a while to get calm even after me telling her that it was going to be ok. We call the police and when they arrive im talking to my insurance company, who is going to take care of this thank God, and he starts asking us questions. As I finished with the insurance company I come over and again am friendly and consoling to the young lady because the cop was just so uptight. After I told them that this was my first accident ever, she said "wow, you are so calm for this to have been your first accident" I said "trust me, I have been in some pretty foul situations, and God spared our lives and we both got out with no injuries. Im grateful for that. God makes me this calm." she then said "you are so nice" and I said, "it is Jesus Christ who makes me this nice." and she said "well He's doing a good job." After we exchanged policy info and the police officer was in his car filing the report. we talked a little more. I asked where she was going and if she was going to be late and she told me she was going to class at Arcadia, but lived in south Philly. I said nice, thats where my fiancee lives(I miss you very much BTW). shortly afterward, the Police officer gives us the report info and sends us on our way. While driving home I had a vision of how that accident should have turned out. ...I was driving and the way she hit my car and the impact of the collision should have flipped my car, but I thank God for His grace towards me and His steady protection. But I am most grateful that not only was the young lady ok, but that I was able to be an example of Christ likeness to her. God I thank you for an opportunity to bare your name. Now let when she goes to wherever she may go, she will be able to say that you not only saved her life and mine, but that you are merciful and kind and your spirit causes people to be merciful and kind. I thank you for your grace and mercy and I pray that you protect Gwen and that the seed of Christ you allowed me to sow through my actions and my testimony of Him, may be watered and grow into something amazing and ultimately her salvation. I love you Father, and I thank you, you do all things well. I should have lost my life today, but you saw fit to let me live and proclaim you glory. I am grateful. Amen!

12:41 am

As I quietly sit in my bed wide awake, I can feel the breeze blowing gently through my window. Circulated by the ceiling fan, the breeze can be felt through my entire room. A lot on my mind tonight. When I got in the house from leaving Yvonne's, I felt an urgent need to pray & worship. Worship & pray. Before leaving church, I had a little talk with Pastor Jeff about the prospect of being married. I told him that I was excited! I am excited. Pastor always has something encouraging to say. He said, "Man I love marriage. It was the second best thing I ever did in my life, the first was dedicating my life to christ, and the second was marrying joy." I expressed to him how I felt about his words he spoke to me a few months back about being ready to die. He said, "You have to die daily. In marriage somebody has to die and because you are the head its going to be you."

I reply boldly and firmly, "IM READY TO DIE!" I am finally ready to lay my life aside to please God. I am no longer in love with myself, but I am willing to do ANYTHING to please God. If it please God that I prosper, be it unto me. If it please God that I suffer, be it unto me. If it please God that we marry, be it unto me. If it please God for me to never marry again, be it unto me. I am persuaded that nothing shall separate me from the love of Christ!

God I thank you for all you have been in my life. I thank you for all that you have allowed to happen to & for me. I am alive and I have health in my body, food in my fridge, clothes on my back, a car, gas in my car, peace in my mind, exceeding joy! GOD I THANK YOU! I thank you for your will, I thank you that you are perfect in all your ways and there is noe that can compare to you.

I thank you for your grace and your mercy. I thank you for new life when I know that I should be dead, but you give me life more abundantly. I am not rich or balling out of control yet but i thank you that I have all of my needs met. I am ok with whatever you word says about me. I AM CONTENT WHATSOEVER STATE I AM IN. No matter what! I declare and decree that right now no more will I nor my wife to be, be bound by what we "think" we know about God or oursleves. Our knowledge and rationale is foolishness to God.

Selah,


My love, My wife, My best friend I have read your blog, initially I wanted to feel hurt but I could not and it was because of the pray of submission I Prayed when I got home. I have one thing to say... you are not an apostate you are in a war, and right where God needs you to be. learn how to trust in Him and lean not to your own understanding, its foolishness to God. You dont know anything! We have to fight for the faith. The Holy Spirit told me that the enemy wants to take you out before we get married,the reason the enemy is fighting us so hard is because he knows that once you have a covering, he is not going to be able to burden or stricken you with those things of the past.

One day while sitting at church, I had a vision of us getting married. We got married at the church and God was officiating it through Bishop. Relieved that the day had finally come we both were standing and it you could see that we had gone through somethings getting there. However, after we said "I do" God said, "what I have called together let man put asunder, you may kiss your bride" when I lifted the vail off your face, I wiped away your tears and proceeded to kiss you. When we locked lips, the shell had broken, all the hurt, all the pain, the strife, the broken promises, spirits of depression, envy, coveting and doubt were broken and lifted off of you and I and we had liberty in Christ. Our marriage is to destroy yokes, The anointing is on us, and the power is in us and His glory is to be made manifest through it. Look what the Lord has done.

We have 14 months to go! not everyday will be a fight, but being led of the spirit I told you when we first started talking about it that it would be a fight and the enemy was going to attack, and it started as soon as we started marriage counseling. but WE WIN!!! We already have the victory, but we have to prove that we can stand. Greater is He that is in us, than he that is in this world.

Father keep us, mold us protect us hide us in your wing. God please dont put us on ther shelf, but equip us to stand against the enemy. We bind satan in Jesus name.

thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, for Thine is the Kingdom, Thine is the power and Thine is the Glory forever amen.

Nevertheless, not my will but your will be done.

What a day its has been.

Man oh man, what a day! Starts out pretty crapy from waking up. Then I call my dad and he has nothing constructive to say. "manipulate the situation so that it works out for you at the end of the day, thats what Im doing and have been doing for 15 years" Ok pop, please Im trying to be happy not in no foolishness. So that kinnnd of pissed me off a little, but I let it slide. I went to the barber shop for a little bit got a cut then headed home for noon day prayer. After prayer I got myself together to head for work. I get downstairs and out the door, and guess what, My car has been broken into.

Stolen, my laptop bag with all my study stuff in it. Man what a day it has been. to top that my insurence doesnt cover it.... WOWWWWWW I thought. so I cleaned it up and called the dealer and they recommended someone for me. so that taken care of.

Man, there is a war going on in the heavenly's and something GREAT is about to happen. I curious to see what will be the next move.

and to the most important "person" in my life, I love you! I know that we have no clue what we are doing as far this wedding or being married but all will be well, trust God, He will lead us, guide us and protect us. Bless His holy name.

I love you my love, lets see what the father has in store for us.

For I had fainted, if had not believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 27:13

3/27/12 3:50am

I sit in my bed wide awake after just finishing a conversation with my intendent. Wondering why, I am tired but I cant go back to sleep. I got up, went and layed back down...


My mind is wandering all over the place, and I can not seem to get it to subside....

There are a lot of thoughts running, a lot of ideas running, a lot of.....

I am.....

I....

lord....

whats the next move?

Nevertheless, not my will Lord, but Your will be done. Im going to sleep now.