What a day its has been.

Man oh man, what a day! Starts out pretty crapy from waking up. Then I call my dad and he has nothing constructive to say. "manipulate the situation so that it works out for you at the end of the day, thats what Im doing and have been doing for 15 years" Ok pop, please Im trying to be happy not in no foolishness. So that kinnnd of pissed me off a little, but I let it slide. I went to the barber shop for a little bit got a cut then headed home for noon day prayer. After prayer I got myself together to head for work. I get downstairs and out the door, and guess what, My car has been broken into.

Stolen, my laptop bag with all my study stuff in it. Man what a day it has been. to top that my insurence doesnt cover it.... WOWWWWWW I thought. so I cleaned it up and called the dealer and they recommended someone for me. so that taken care of.

Man, there is a war going on in the heavenly's and something GREAT is about to happen. I curious to see what will be the next move.

and to the most important "person" in my life, I love you! I know that we have no clue what we are doing as far this wedding or being married but all will be well, trust God, He will lead us, guide us and protect us. Bless His holy name.

I love you my love, lets see what the father has in store for us.

For I had fainted, if had not believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 27:13

3/27/12 3:50am

I sit in my bed wide awake after just finishing a conversation with my intendent. Wondering why, I am tired but I cant go back to sleep. I got up, went and layed back down...


My mind is wandering all over the place, and I can not seem to get it to subside....

There are a lot of thoughts running, a lot of ideas running, a lot of.....

I am.....

I....

lord....

whats the next move?

Nevertheless, not my will Lord, but Your will be done. Im going to sleep now.

3:38am

.... First and formost why am I up? i defnitely went to bed around 10ish. I mean I was out like light. I lay here trying to go back to sleep but Im legit wide awake. hmmm I wonder, maybe God wants to tell me something.

"Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

This is the scripture for today. hmmmm, let me go, I shall return after I have communed with the lord.

The closer it gets, the harder it gets....

Truly the more the dream begins to become a reality, harder it seems to get. There always seems to be something that is standing in the way. However, this is different from the way my life typically works. Just to give a little perspective, here's how my life typically works. Whenever I try to do something that I am not suppose to be doing, in the process of doing so all Hell breaks loose in the area of the thing Im not suppose to be doing. (hopefully that made sense) but again, this is different.

I seems like the closer it gets the more of our individual self becomes exposed. There is a war going on in our members. Our hearts and spirits say deny self, deny self, but the mind is accustom to that which it is accustom and does not innately want to submit. Its almost like a disease, unless cured with the "right" medicine it will stay around forever and eventually you die.

Here is the good part. When you realize that the struggle is denying yourself, that means that what you are doing is the right thing to do. there is a song called the sound of victory and Though my sweetheart is not particularly fond of the arrangements and harmonies, I, on the other hand, really appreciate the lyrics in the song. "The harder it gets, the harder I praise; The more intense, the more I praise; The louder it gets, the louder I praise, I know my victory is on the way"

The enemy does not like anything Holy, and the hardest part about this thing that we are working toward is denying self, rejecting our personal feelings for the benefits of the other, submitting to one another mind, body and will, and ultimately Submitting ourselves and our unit to God for He truely governs everything in our life.

So i declare, The Harder it gets, The HARDER I will press, The More intense the MORE Ill press. I will press toward the mark for the prize of the High calling in Christ Jesus! for He knows the plans he has for our lives. I rest assured that God will get the glory from this...

Acts 17:11

and to my suga, I love you, For real, Deeply!!

I welcome the challenge of denying myself, following Christ and becoming one flesh again with my own rib. though you were born first, its clear the we were created from the same spirit, and every part of you fits perfectly with every part of me.

God does not make mistakes! He is perfect in everything and does all things well!

Aside from the silly part of this, this video explains the way I feel. I love you!