Lord this has got to be the hardest thing that I have ever had to contend with. I miss her like crazy, Its only day 3 and I cant stop thinking of her, God I need this woman, I want this woman, I thank you for this woman. God I cant be away from her. Thats crazy, I have never felt this way before.
God I thank you for this time though, I know it will mold us into better beings for you Oh lord. God I thank you for all you are to me oh lord.
Im Grateful!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
I love You
Wow..... WOW!!! Im am typing and deleting, typing and deleting. I cant really find the words to express the pain I just felt after reading your blog. Coker, I loved you from day one. I knew from the first time we kissed at Allen Pond Park, as it began to rain. I knew that day that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, But I was afraid. Afraid that I wouldnt be good enough for you, or that I had nothing to offer you. So i kept you close, but I was afrad to get to close because I knew the feelings I had for you. I started seeing other people because I didnt think that i would stand a chance with you and I couldnt face the pain if you had brushed me off again. It was a very cowardly move on my part that not only affected me, it affected you and an innocent bystander.
Im not going to front like I didnt love her, I did, but there was always something missing. I always felt like something in my life just wasn't quite right. I searched and searched, job after job, place after place, city after city, and I could never figure out what was missing; however, when you and I were together I always felt complete, like I could accomplish anything, like nothing was out of my grasp. so I kept you near, and I always wanted you near. I couldn't even then fathom living without you.
Woman, my best friend, love of my life, my wife to be, forgive me the pain that I have caused you. I vow to love you with everything in me for the rest of our lives. I dont deserve you, but God has forgiven and has given us both the desires of our heart and its pleasing to him. I have since apologized to the young lady as well, its actually kind of sad, but when I told her that we were getting married she said "You should have married her in the first place, considering when we met, you said that you wanted to" I have always wanted to marry you, I have always known that you are the perfect match for me.
I love you as deep as the atlantic ocean, I love you as high as the moon is to our optical ability with out a telescope, I love you as freely as the wind blows through the trees, I love you as strong as the tree planted by the stream, I love you as far as the very last moon on pluto is in distance from the earth, I love you as painfully as child birth, I love you as Christ have love the church. I love you with all of me, and I am privaledge to be the man of God in your life.
Proverbs 18:22
Love,
Ron Simms
Im not going to front like I didnt love her, I did, but there was always something missing. I always felt like something in my life just wasn't quite right. I searched and searched, job after job, place after place, city after city, and I could never figure out what was missing; however, when you and I were together I always felt complete, like I could accomplish anything, like nothing was out of my grasp. so I kept you near, and I always wanted you near. I couldn't even then fathom living without you.
Woman, my best friend, love of my life, my wife to be, forgive me the pain that I have caused you. I vow to love you with everything in me for the rest of our lives. I dont deserve you, but God has forgiven and has given us both the desires of our heart and its pleasing to him. I have since apologized to the young lady as well, its actually kind of sad, but when I told her that we were getting married she said "You should have married her in the first place, considering when we met, you said that you wanted to" I have always wanted to marry you, I have always known that you are the perfect match for me.
I love you as deep as the atlantic ocean, I love you as high as the moon is to our optical ability with out a telescope, I love you as freely as the wind blows through the trees, I love you as strong as the tree planted by the stream, I love you as far as the very last moon on pluto is in distance from the earth, I love you as painfully as child birth, I love you as Christ have love the church. I love you with all of me, and I am privaledge to be the man of God in your life.
Proverbs 18:22
Love,
Ron Simms
Thankful
This week of fasting and concecration is well needed. I went throughout the the day yesterday and i kind of floated through, nothing major happened. Ive been prayng and asking the father for guidence in all i do, and for some reason toward the end of the the my spirit was pricked and i could feel the need to pray. So i continued with the day then all of a sudden i felt a strong want to hear the song "Walk on Water" by Mali music. While i love this song a lot, there was one part of the song that seemed to be the most clear. "Keep your eyes on him", "dont look to the left, nor to the right, just look to the Lord" and again "keep your eyes on him" I felt an instant need to seek his face.
After closing up shop at work, my co-work offered me a ride home. he was going to his mom's and she didnt live far from me. So i sat in the car very quietly listening to my music. once i got into the house, the spirit said pray now. So i began praying it started out as just a regular soft prayer, then to me praying in the spirit. Not very long, I believe God, and the spirit makes intercetion for us with utterence that we can not understand but God does.
When I got up from laying prostrate on my living room floor, I was still praying in the spirit, it was as if God were not yet done. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water stll praying in the spirit (Mack is going to be in for a treat if he drinks any of this water lol.) then I sat down on my couch and began to pray naturally, it started out soft and "dainty" (as my beloved future wife would say lol) then i couldnt contain the etreme gratitude i have for all that the Lord has truely been to me.
"Lord Im grateful for all that You are to me, I walk with You daily and still it amazes me, how You NEVER change, Your love remains the same"
Tears rolled down my face as I began to remember where He has brought me from, and all that he has been for me. I remember the old songs that would say "when I think about the goodness of Jesus and all he has done for me, My soul cries out Hallelujah, thank God for saving me.
I am truely grateful for all the Lord is in my life. I dont seek gifts, I seek to be like my father in heaven through my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ.
Amen! (It is agreed)
After closing up shop at work, my co-work offered me a ride home. he was going to his mom's and she didnt live far from me. So i sat in the car very quietly listening to my music. once i got into the house, the spirit said pray now. So i began praying it started out as just a regular soft prayer, then to me praying in the spirit. Not very long, I believe God, and the spirit makes intercetion for us with utterence that we can not understand but God does.
When I got up from laying prostrate on my living room floor, I was still praying in the spirit, it was as if God were not yet done. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water stll praying in the spirit (Mack is going to be in for a treat if he drinks any of this water lol.) then I sat down on my couch and began to pray naturally, it started out soft and "dainty" (as my beloved future wife would say lol) then i couldnt contain the etreme gratitude i have for all that the Lord has truely been to me.
"Lord Im grateful for all that You are to me, I walk with You daily and still it amazes me, how You NEVER change, Your love remains the same"
Tears rolled down my face as I began to remember where He has brought me from, and all that he has been for me. I remember the old songs that would say "when I think about the goodness of Jesus and all he has done for me, My soul cries out Hallelujah, thank God for saving me.
I am truely grateful for all the Lord is in my life. I dont seek gifts, I seek to be like my father in heaven through my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ.
Amen! (It is agreed)
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Grateful
Lord where you lead I will indeed follow! You are certainly the best father anyone could ask for, you supply all of my needs! He is the best friend you could ever have, he gives the desires of the heart!
Thank you father for considering me worthy to worship you, thank you for all that you are to me. Lord I thank you for your sense of humor.
Man plans, God laughs! Yc
Man I thought I had it all figured out, I thought that I knew what was best for MY life, Haha, was I mistaken. God I thank you for keeping me. I thank you for all that you are to me. God you indeed know my heart, and what I like and you are so faithful to me. I am really beginning to understand Matthew 6:33 seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, and all the things will be added. I will continue to seek the lord, deny myself, and follow Christ.
Gods way is not just right, its better. -- Tye Tribbett
On another note, thank God for trusting me with his daughter, I love you Yvonne Coker, I commit our relationship to the father I know he will keep us. I am excited about what God is going to do in our lives. Amen!!
Thank you father for considering me worthy to worship you, thank you for all that you are to me. Lord I thank you for your sense of humor.
Man plans, God laughs! Yc
Man I thought I had it all figured out, I thought that I knew what was best for MY life, Haha, was I mistaken. God I thank you for keeping me. I thank you for all that you are to me. God you indeed know my heart, and what I like and you are so faithful to me. I am really beginning to understand Matthew 6:33 seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, and all the things will be added. I will continue to seek the lord, deny myself, and follow Christ.
Gods way is not just right, its better. -- Tye Tribbett
On another note, thank God for trusting me with his daughter, I love you Yvonne Coker, I commit our relationship to the father I know he will keep us. I am excited about what God is going to do in our lives. Amen!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I can not begin to expla in how i feel right now... im frustrated, angry, hurt all at one time. Every tear you shed, every time you frown, everytime your sad, my heart feels like a piece of glass that was plunged off of a ten story building and hit the at 500 mph.. My heart is so broken because your heart is broken, I paniced, I started to over analyze, and spoke entirely to soon. this had no affect on my time line at all. If your reading this babe, Im sorry. It is never my intention to hurt you.... I love you more than the breath it takes to say it, more than the energy it takes to type it, and I want you to be the happiest woman in the world. I am crying on the inside as i feel your broken heart. Hopefully you still love me, and still want to marry me. *sigh* i guess ill say good bye now.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Its never been easy for me, why should I expect it to be now?
"Mooch, Throw away that credit card, Shred it, its going to be nothing but problems" I can distinctively here my saying this to me. I was July 31, 2006. I had just turned 18 years old not even 72 hours before i received a letter in the mail from capitol. In the letter was a credit card awating me to open, sign and use. Three or four days later, "Mooch, can I use your credit card so that Min. Antoine can pay for his luggage to be sent here"
"What" I said to myself. "You just told me to get rid of it". Story of my life.
Livng a life of endless contradictons, I feel like I was doomed from the gate. Things like, dont "Shack up" while shacking, or pay your tithes while partially paying tithes. Commit your relationship to God, While fornicating. So, here I am twenty three years old, at the greatest point of my life, my prime. Ive been broken and confused, Ive been married and divorced, Ive been up and Ive been down. Ive been alone and Ive been lonely. Ive been a lot of places in my life and time, and now here I am. My prime.
Ive already been on my own five years. Though I dont consider it much, I have a place to call my own here in Philadelphia, Pa. Ive got a wonderful church family, a decent job, and the baddest girlfriend in the land. Man, one would look at me now and say "man he's doing it". While I am truely grateful for all that the lord has blessed me with. There is so much more that I need out of life. I saw somethng that almost broke me today. Believe it or not it was my credit score. I hadnt realized, the affects that my mistakes had on everything.
This broke me because I feel like, It should not have been this way. I look at other people my age, most of whom were not thrusted into the world of independence as nearly as I and sometimes it bothers me. Why could I not have had more responsible parents? One was non-existent as he ventured to secure a life for himself minus us. The other, hustling and bustling doing whatever it took to feed us, with no strategy, no guide, and clue about stability. Ugh!!! My life. It may seem that i am complaining, I assure you im not. Just a little frustrated.
Starting from scratch is very difficult. Sometimes, I just want to yell, AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! but then I remember that Paul said, all things work together for the of those who are in Christ Jesus. Thank God! does it suck... yeah it does, however, I will hold on to God unchanging hand and hs steadfast love.
Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.- Job 13:15
"What" I said to myself. "You just told me to get rid of it". Story of my life.
Livng a life of endless contradictons, I feel like I was doomed from the gate. Things like, dont "Shack up" while shacking, or pay your tithes while partially paying tithes. Commit your relationship to God, While fornicating. So, here I am twenty three years old, at the greatest point of my life, my prime. Ive been broken and confused, Ive been married and divorced, Ive been up and Ive been down. Ive been alone and Ive been lonely. Ive been a lot of places in my life and time, and now here I am. My prime.
Ive already been on my own five years. Though I dont consider it much, I have a place to call my own here in Philadelphia, Pa. Ive got a wonderful church family, a decent job, and the baddest girlfriend in the land. Man, one would look at me now and say "man he's doing it". While I am truely grateful for all that the lord has blessed me with. There is so much more that I need out of life. I saw somethng that almost broke me today. Believe it or not it was my credit score. I hadnt realized, the affects that my mistakes had on everything.
This broke me because I feel like, It should not have been this way. I look at other people my age, most of whom were not thrusted into the world of independence as nearly as I and sometimes it bothers me. Why could I not have had more responsible parents? One was non-existent as he ventured to secure a life for himself minus us. The other, hustling and bustling doing whatever it took to feed us, with no strategy, no guide, and clue about stability. Ugh!!! My life. It may seem that i am complaining, I assure you im not. Just a little frustrated.
Starting from scratch is very difficult. Sometimes, I just want to yell, AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! but then I remember that Paul said, all things work together for the of those who are in Christ Jesus. Thank God! does it suck... yeah it does, however, I will hold on to God unchanging hand and hs steadfast love.
Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.- Job 13:15
Monday, November 7, 2011
Random, but relavent
So the time is 3:54 am, I fell asleep around 9:42p, and woke up frantic at about 10:28p because I knew that I had probably missed her call. I woke up and I called her back. After apologzing for falling asleep, afterall I asked her to call before she went to bed, she said "It's ok babe I was just callng to say I love you.
Wow!! Wow!! Oh how I have longed to hear those words from her for a very long time. I get overwhelmed thinking about it sometimes, I am so amazed at what God is doing in our lives. I feel like Job, God blessed job With Double of what he had before.
Yesterday as I was worshping and crying out to God for my Brother, the praise team tapped me, so that we can go upstairs and pray. The Spirit of God was moving so heavily on me that I could not contain the Pure worship that was in my heart. When everyone else was done praying, I was still "in" but I didnt hear anyone else's voice anymore, but i felt a hand on my bad, and a quiet voice praying in the spirit. Initially, I thought that it was Elder Pat, because of the side that she was standng on, it was the same side that Elder Pat was standng on while we were praying.
When I came to, I wiped my face of the tears, took time to catch my breathe and the person was still there prayng softly, as I opened eyes I saw the most beautiful woman in the world. It was Yvonne! there by my side praying never leaving. My help! God shows me more clearly everyday, Why he chose her to be my wife.
After service we all ate dinner. Coker, Man Man, Mack and myself. While dealing with Man Man's "Shinanigins" we concluded that it was time to go. Then again, going anywhere with Man Man, ends with a "ok lets go" feeling from everybody because he is clearly rediculous lol. However, prior to leaving, i asked coker if she wanted to go out afterward, and she sad yeah sure.
We dropped Man Man and Mack off at my place, and after i was changed, we left and went to her place so that she too could change clothes.
Then, We walked.
We walked around the city for a little while, building with each other, learnng each other yet again, rememberng why we really love each other. I have missed her so much in my life and when I thnk about how great God is and how much he cares for me by allowing her and I to freely express pure Love of God through the Holy Ghost to each other.... again I am overwhelmed.
I am excited for what God is doing in our lives, I comitt this realationship, to my Father in heaven, and my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ who is seated at the right hand of the father. I thank you for your grace, and mercy toward me, Thank you for allowing Yvonne Coker and I to reunite and more importantly to express the love you gave us to one another.
Yvonne Coker, you are my crown, your my queen, I bless God for the very air it takes to say I love you. You make my heart melt with your smile, your voice is like music to my ears, your worship to God inspires me to be better, the way you carry yourself is as a queen, well deserving of being treated as such, I love you woman of God, and I wait excited to make you my wife.
I Love you
time 4:30am
Wow!! Wow!! Oh how I have longed to hear those words from her for a very long time. I get overwhelmed thinking about it sometimes, I am so amazed at what God is doing in our lives. I feel like Job, God blessed job With Double of what he had before.
Yesterday as I was worshping and crying out to God for my Brother, the praise team tapped me, so that we can go upstairs and pray. The Spirit of God was moving so heavily on me that I could not contain the Pure worship that was in my heart. When everyone else was done praying, I was still "in" but I didnt hear anyone else's voice anymore, but i felt a hand on my bad, and a quiet voice praying in the spirit. Initially, I thought that it was Elder Pat, because of the side that she was standng on, it was the same side that Elder Pat was standng on while we were praying.
When I came to, I wiped my face of the tears, took time to catch my breathe and the person was still there prayng softly, as I opened eyes I saw the most beautiful woman in the world. It was Yvonne! there by my side praying never leaving. My help! God shows me more clearly everyday, Why he chose her to be my wife.
After service we all ate dinner. Coker, Man Man, Mack and myself. While dealing with Man Man's "Shinanigins" we concluded that it was time to go. Then again, going anywhere with Man Man, ends with a "ok lets go" feeling from everybody because he is clearly rediculous lol. However, prior to leaving, i asked coker if she wanted to go out afterward, and she sad yeah sure.
We dropped Man Man and Mack off at my place, and after i was changed, we left and went to her place so that she too could change clothes.
Then, We walked.
We walked around the city for a little while, building with each other, learnng each other yet again, rememberng why we really love each other. I have missed her so much in my life and when I thnk about how great God is and how much he cares for me by allowing her and I to freely express pure Love of God through the Holy Ghost to each other.... again I am overwhelmed.
I am excited for what God is doing in our lives, I comitt this realationship, to my Father in heaven, and my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ who is seated at the right hand of the father. I thank you for your grace, and mercy toward me, Thank you for allowing Yvonne Coker and I to reunite and more importantly to express the love you gave us to one another.
Yvonne Coker, you are my crown, your my queen, I bless God for the very air it takes to say I love you. You make my heart melt with your smile, your voice is like music to my ears, your worship to God inspires me to be better, the way you carry yourself is as a queen, well deserving of being treated as such, I love you woman of God, and I wait excited to make you my wife.
I Love you
time 4:30am
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Only God! I am grateful
It has been quite sometime since ive felt this way. My heart is overwhelmed, my mind is running a million thoughts a second, I cant stop smiling. Oh God what is this? Its a feeling like never before. When I think about it, i get choked up, and slght tears come to my eyes. I am eladed, God saw fit to bless me with exceeding joy. It is sincerely, exceedng joy. After walking outside of the will of God for my life for so long, He still saw fit bless me.
God as promised, You will be the head of my decisions, Holy Spirit lead and guide me, I will follow you. I will lead my family in the way of the lord. Christ as the head, and i will pattern my life after the model which you have set before me.
I thank you for all that you are to me oh God, and Praise you for right now! I am excited about what you doing, continue to move and I will follow.
God as promised, You will be the head of my decisions, Holy Spirit lead and guide me, I will follow you. I will lead my family in the way of the lord. Christ as the head, and i will pattern my life after the model which you have set before me.
I thank you for all that you are to me oh God, and Praise you for right now! I am excited about what you doing, continue to move and I will follow.
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