A question I heard the Holy Spirit ask me about three times last
night. I wasn't sure why I kept hearing that and as always my mind
started to rule it out. "Oh, you're talking to yourself.... You know
where you are... Why am I thinking about this?" all the things my mind
said each time I heard, Ron, where are you. It wasn't until I got home I
realized it was the Holy Spirit. I got in my apartment, went up stairs
and could not enter my room. I was so convicted. I could not enter my
room. My room is the place where I meet God every night between 10:30p
and 12:00am (depending on when I get home) Its gotten to the point of
even if I'm dead tired, cant go to sleep without talking to God. So at
this point I'm at the door pleading and asking for forgiveness. I get in
and I pray then go to sleep.
It wasn't until tonight
that I really understood the fact that God meets me in my room between
those times EVERY night. Its like He expects me to be there to commune
with Him. The funny thing is, He doesn't require much time, just 30
minutes with my phone on silent so that there are no interruptions. As I
was driving home tonight I started to think about how gracious God is
and how much He really accepts from us, and all that He has done just to
have a relationship with man. His creation. Its amazing how we expect
God to jump through hoops just to have a relationship with us and that
feeling is not reciprocated. It broke my heart. Not sin. I am always
apologetic for sin because I know its wrong, but not showing God how
grateful I am for all He has been for me. Once I realized, it broke my
heart.
He only asked me for thirty (30) minutes at the end
of my day. So that means that He kept me all day long, and allowed me
to be successful in my daily activities and did not require me to get up
early as most people would have you to think is correct. He let me
choose the time and He meets me, and sadly there have been times where I
complained silently about that because He wont let me sleep without
meeting Him. "What am I that He is mindful of me?..." this scripture has
never been more personal than today.
So tonight
during my meeting with Him I wept as He came in. I know when He shows up
because my prayer gets stronger, my utterance changes, I sing in a way
only He understands and is pleasing to Him. But I wept, and I expressed
my extreme gratitude to Him for all that He has been to me.
We
are not perfect yet, but the worst thing we can do is neglect spending
time with our Father who is in heaven and come to visit us and speaks to
us and keeps us in all our ways. To me that's worst than sin, at least
sin has a motive, not spending time with God that's just crazy. I have
found that there is truly nothing like the presence of the Lord and when
you know He's there and listening. Sometimes we just need God to Listen
to the things we think that no body understands.
Man, He is so great! Who is like unto our God? NO ONE!!!!
anyway, I'm going to sleep before I end up writing a book.
Night!
